At our music schools, we host two recital concerts each year. However, I often hear inquiries about their value and importance. Allow me to clarify.

Why We Hold Recital Concerts

Public performance, including speaking, is among the most valuable and highly coveted skills in the professional world. The ability to articulate thoughts and ideas clearly and confidently in front of an audience is a skill that many strive to master. Overcoming the fear associated with this can dramatically shift the course of one's life, opening up avenues for personal and professional growth that were previously unthinkable.

Winter Recital 2012 in Carroll Gardens public library

Reflecting back on my childhood, I remember the crippling fear that would wash over me when tasked with standing in front of a group. As a young boy, I was acutely aware of how different I was from everyone else around me. I was the sole Asian kid in my community, the first "foreigner" that many of my neighbors had ever interacted with. This distinction made me hesitant to draw any more attention to myself than necessary.

However, as time passed, I found myself gradually becoming more comfortable with the idea of speaking at the front of a room. The initial fear and discomfort slowly began to recede, replaced by a growing sense of confidence and ease. Like so many things in life, becoming comfortable with public speaking was a matter of acclimatization, of adjusting to a new normal that was initially outside of my comfort zone.

Athletes & Performance Anxiety

I heard a story on NPR about performance anxiety. This study had researchers interviewing Olympic athletes about how they felt before an important event. Every single one of them said, "No I was not nervous. I felt excited." What the researchers concluded was that the emotional feeling of nervousness had been reframed. Instead of interpreting these feelings as nervousness, it became excitement.

Cognitive Reframing

This idea of reframing is extremely powerful. In psychology it’s called cognitive reframing.

Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then disputing irrational or maladaptive thoughts. Reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions to find more positive alternatives. In the context of cognitive therapy, cognitive reframing is referred to as cognitive restructuring. Cognitive reframing, on the other hand, refers to the process as it occurs either voluntarily or automatically in all settings. - Wikipedia

This is something that we should consciously teach to all educators, parents, and leaders. Certain successful individuals seem to effortlessly move through life attracting opportunities and getting past obstacles.

I recently saw a video (see below) about an ex-Navy Seal coaching an ultramarathon runner. It’s an amazing example of cognitive reframing. “Hey, we don’t get tired!”

Life Happens To All Of Us

And, in reality, we all are able to do this. Life happens to all of us! Instead of reacting in our old ways, we can reframe consciously for better results. It’s the quality of our reaction that proves our mettle.

Subconsciously, I must have known that I needed to get over this fear, too. In my Boy Scout troop, I was elected Senior Patrol Leader where I was forced to lead the group. Talk about scary!

I also participated in constant public performance with my school band, chorus, jazz ensemble, marching band, and eventually my own rock bands.

I took on several door-to-door sales jobs. That was really hard! But over time, I began to realize that I could adjust how I felt. This “no” meant I was closer to a “yes.”

New Horizons Appear

As my confidence grew, I began to have opportunities appear which I never would have even considered before. I started to stretch my wings and even went out on a limb to audition as an actor. Lo and behold, I was accepted to a young theater company!

But as every actor knows, it’s a hard life filled with more rejection than acceptance. Reframing these rejections as just “steps on the path,” made it possible to live forward without soul-crushing depression!

Say Yes

The more I reframed, the more I could accept new opportunities. The more I could say, “Yes.”

So I encourage you all to say, “Yes” to more things in your life and to teach your children the same.

Joseph Campbell, the author, referenced an idea from Schopenhauer. This concept proposes that our dreams are created by an unconscious part of us, much like how our inner will guides our lives. As seemingly random encounters become significant components of our lives, we also unknowingly play a similar part in the lives of others. In retrospect, it resembles an elegantly composed grand symphony.

So bravo to your children for learning to perform in public, asserting their abilities and ideas, and sharing them with the world! May their song resonate around the globe.

Video example of cognitive reframing